The Terrible Hurt that Causes Terrible Hurt

I have always wondered what goes through some people head’s that call themselves parents and then use their children as pawns of emotion to inflict hurt on others.  Exe’s s, Former Spouses, Parents and Grand Parents alike.
People are messy and what is awful is they tend to cause the pain that was inflicted on them to their kids.  Oh sure they have really elaborate reasons and blame that on why they feel justified on doing it.
Sometimes it is unrequited love,  sometimes it is overbearing parent,  sometimes is is abuse in many levels that are so ugly that the person doesn’t know and hasn’t dealt with it on any level .  .  . that they take it out everyone most of all they make a un-known victim of their child or children.
These people that are so hurt and damaged in this way don’t know and can’t even see the wake they leave.  The are blinded by a terrible hurt.  Hurt people hurt people it is sad to say.  If you understand this maybe you can forgive them for a little bit, maybe allot.  I have had to learn too.
What I wonder is will their children think about how they abused this privilege of being a parent.
I was very lucky,  I had very good parents.  Here is what I learned from them.
1.  Teach Your Kids to Leave the World a Better Place
2.  Be Fair, Fun and Firm
3.  Love God, Your Family and Life
4.  Work Hard,  Laugh Hard,  Forgive Often
Here is what it is not:
1.  About your Personal Self Esteem
2.  About what you want
3.  About a Popularity Contest
4.  About Your Agenda
My parents were incredibly loving and created an incredible way to grow up but even in their wisdom they couldn’t me from Terrible Hurt.
I would say the worst type of terrible hurt is the kind inflicted on a child.  We all have our stories but it is our choice as adults to pass it on or now to pass it own.  Some people have some of this hurt they never mature into a adult. They stay a child until they deal with hurt.
If you are in conflict about your kids,  ask yourself?  Is this about my agenda or what is best for the child?
To make the realization that Terrible Hurt does not fix a Terrible Hurt,  so if you are that parent that stops your child from spending time w/ the other parent,  that trashes the other parent, that spins all the other parent does.  I forgive you but will your child
Terrible Hurt does not fix Terrible Hurt,  it is time to be the adult and realize you can be bigger than it and you certainly can protect your kid from the cycle.


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